14 weeks along. Still travelling..

I'm currently in Liverpool, England visiting a close friend of mine. I'll be back in Canada in a week. I've been travelling for 14 months now and should be excited to go home, but I'm not. I'm dreading living with my mom again and the fear how how stressful things will be for god knows how long while I sort my life out. It seems that the majority of pregnant women are working, married and have their husbands/boyfriends/partners look after them when they're pregnant. My mom is a menopausal divorcee with emotional problems and my home life has never been great. As supportive as she's been for me in all this, I don't think itll be healthy for me under her roof. I need to find a way out as soon as possible.

But, at the same time - I do realize how lucky I am to have a free roof to live under for as long as I need it.

Had I chose to have an abortion (or been careful enough not to get pregnant in the first place) I wouldn't be coming home now. I'd probably still be in Australia, travelling, saving money and planning a new adventure to South America or something. But from the moment I found out I was pregnent, I knew that I would never be the same again. I couldn't go on with my life even if I did give it up. Having this baby truly meant more to be than all of my passions. I will do everything possible to give it the life it deserves.

One thing I am excited about - is to start the pre-natal care process! Medical care in Australia was extremely expensive for me, being a non resident. So all I know so far about this baby is that it was normal and healthy at 6 weeks. Lets hope they can tell me the same next week, when I'm at 15 weeks. Knowing the sex would be nice, too. :)

What am I going to DO????

I'm 3 months pregnant, with no life set up or clue about what I'm going to do to make it work. I appear much stronger on the outside to my friends and family than I feel in the inside.

I'm about to return home after 14 months of travelling the world. No form of stability awaits me there, and I have my work cut out for me when it comes to what I have to figure out. I have 6 months to get ready for this baby!

Many people would think that choosing to keep a baby under circumstances like these may be irresponsible. Although it will be the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced, there are some positive sides to my situation that will help me in the path to single motherhood. I have a degree under my belt, job experience and I’m not a teenager. All  good points. I have a massive student loan, but also decent savings, a supportive network of friends and family, and most importantly: a desire to keep this baby. At the end of the day, the biggest question a mother needs to ask herself when facing an unexpected pregnancy is "do I want to have a baby now?"

Thats all for today.