My Dad was an alcoholic that was cruel to me for as long as I can remember. I have memories of him stealing money I'd stashed away when I was 7. He would belittle me infront of friends, saying that they were smarter and better at things than I was. As I got older, his insults and behaviour got worse. He told me I was getting fat and zit-faced at 14. He threatened to humiliate me infront of friends if I brought them over. There were a few more serious episodes where he tried to scare me before school in the mornings; once coming into my room with a baseball bat, another time he went ballistic and ripped all my posters down off the walls and threw my stereo across the room. It was common for him to lose his temper in our home and flip tables over, break walls, doors and other things. He once squeezed toothpaste out into my hair. He was a terror to have around. It was the "last straw" for my mom when she came home to find he had poured hot soup all over me. She finally divorced him when I was 15 (but I wish it had been much sooner.)
I will never be close to my mom. She always has, and always will do everything to help me and thats why I would never call her a bad parent. But like my dad, she struggled with emotional problems and was never the emotionally supportive mom I needed. She was always very controlling of me; blantantly reading my diary and letters to friends I'd write when I got older, she'd try to listen in on my phone conversations. She also yelled, a LOT. I have images in my head still of her banging into my room screaming at the top of her lungs. She swore a lot, calling me a "bitch" a few times and often came out with snide remarks in arguments, such as "I hope one day you have a daughter thats exactly like you."
She has her good side too, and thats why I don't want you to judge her too harshly.
No one's family is perfect, but I believe I got the short end of the stick when it came to parents. I forgive my mom, but I will never, ever talk to my Dad again.
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