Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Life is so overwhelming and confusing right now, feel like I can't handle it!

I'm roughly a month away from giving birth. But my life couldn't be more unstable. I wish more than anything that my circumstances were different. I don't know what happened to me; I used to be smart and successful in everything I set my mind to. I can't believe that I'm 26, dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, living at home with my psychotic mother, and unemployed. I need to change my life around, but there is so much to think about that I just don't know where to start..

The baby's father just lost the majority of his savings to his mother, who he has a bank account linked with. Here in Canada, I've never heard of 'linked bank accounts' but his family has it in California somehow. His family is not very well off and apparently a levy was placed on his mom's account, which resulted from $1800 being withdrawn from his. He's coming to Canada in 2 days to be with me for the birth, and he only has a couple hundred dollars to his name (plus more money he's owed from Australia.) So that's not good.

I've been living at home since March, earning money from online tutoring, mystery shopping, online surveys and selling my belongings to thrif stores. My mom and I have had two very nasty fights in the past two weeks. Living here is free, but I'm absolutely miserable. I can't handle the fights. I worry about the fact that my baby can now hear and probably could make out her screaming at me. I can only hope there's no harm done.

So I've got: no stable home, a partner with no money, a massive student loan to pay off, and NO CLUE what I'm going to do! This is the scariest situation I've ever been in. I'm trying to brainstorm and plan but its so hard to think. :(

No comments:

Post a Comment